Monday, September 3, 2007

The disease ...

What is D? obvious answers are : an alphabet, a movie, differential(if u r the nerd types)... but when u hear - debt.. the response...u tend to feel a little uncomfortable.
What is CC? Computer Center (Shrik said with a grin! ), carbon copy.... naaah! ...cost of capital! These are some of the symptoms of a very grave disease - ER! (equity research) and it is likely to affect those who have some particular fancy for things called securities and portfolios. Of course some people still manage to get away... but then not all are the "great one".

Ya so as I was saying.. as end terms became more and more real... we started realizing that deadlines can't be postponed any further... and that is when it all began. A certain tribe of people... with the certain liking as mentioned above...started this buzz word around campus... ER! and then the most common topic of discussion suddenly converged and all you can hear people talking is- some random fin jargons with some funky company name associated with it. Here are some excerpts of it:

Scene 1: Night canteen: I suddenly saw a guy coming towards GH 3 hostel..drunken steps.. looking completely lost... as if he suddenly found himself in an alien world ... guys comes closer and I realise : Jesal! what happened dude?
From the looks of it seemed that he had just been nuked.. but he explained.... ER! His team mate- sutta and shiv had deserted him mid way and now only he and neha were left with the huge task ... hence his disheveled state.

Scene 2: A room in LH: 3 girls inside: topper, banker and IT freak! I made the mistake of entering that room ..5 minutes in that room and I was wondering ... where the hell am I??

"Unlevered cost of capital is equal to levered cost of capital"
"Lets calculate our own wacc"
Then I witnessed a classic case of industrial disputes.. workers forming unions and going on strikes..Often heard questions were - " why should I do this?".."why should I tell you?"

Topper felt sudden surges of good and very good mood... she would keep humming some song or the other .. they varied from : " happy birthday to you... " ..Nerolac certain pussy cat's hit single!
Banker: What have I done?
IT freak: What have u done da?
Topper: Our valuation is screwed up da!
Banker(with great deal of confidence): I am flunking in SAPM!
Topper (stopping mid way between her rendition of some song by usher): I am NOT flunking in SAPM!
IT freak( unaware of this conversation): How can a bank lend at 1% interest???
Banker (in nursery teacher mode): Write I divided by 1 plus 1 by D by E....

Then all of a sudden there was this frantic search for someone called ... KD.... I was almost going to send out a grp buzz ..only to realize .. its some abbreviation for cost of debt.. and not....

Then as expected there was some typical K'series dialogues:
Banker: Who put this figure here... U topper .. didnt u?
IT freak: Actually it was me!
Banker ( heart broken) : "Noooo, I can't believe it ... "
Topper sitting silent with the "i told you so" look on her face.

Some random comments:
Topper: "These girls ... I tell you... have no brains!"
Banker: Dont tell topper that I am finished with my part... ..she will give some more work
IT freak: Give me Nerolac's MD's number I will call him!

Now you know why I ran out!

Scene 3: Night canteen (again!) : Shiv enters, totally red in face... wearing highly provocative dress! Sutta stopped having Maggi and stared at him.. waiting for those golden words... "Abbe chal kaam pe lag! "

I was convinced that this is the worst thing that could have happened to the budding fin studs of tomorrow.. when a IR friend of mine (Aseem) introduced me to the concept of SAR: Self Assessment Report
"See what you do is take 20 inventory about urself.. fill each of them... write report on each of them... figure out the theme from each of the report.. that will give you some of ur traits .. then group them up suitable job profile for each of them .. then look at all such fitting job profiles and derive a overall perfect job profile..... "

Now there is a tough competition there... SAR vs ER! Between them these two diseases have kept the entire batch on toes before the exam.... Now you must be wondering what this fool is doing writing blogs... doesn't he have any work to do?? I have only 1 thing to say in my defense: Mar - Strat ... Rocks! ;)