Vine : Chapter 7: Is this the end?

[Previously: Year 2001, Rohit Verma and Neha Gupta (Raj Gupta’s wife) meets a fatal accident on Pune - Mumbai highway. The same day Rohit’s wife Sohini Bose commits suicide in their mumbai residence. Raghav Bose Verma (son of Rohit and Sohini) is left to the care of Sohini’s brother Pradip Bose and his wife Piyana Bose. Present day: Raghav who was settled in US with his maternal uncle, decides to come to India for selling his parental home. Getting a sudden call from Raj Gupta claiming he knows the truth about his parent’s death, Raghav meets him in Pune. Raj Gupta, Sriram Iyer (Rohit’s friend) and Dr Madhukar Bhonsle talk of their versions of what happened on that fateful day and why. Tanya Iyer (Sriram’s daughter) has been Raghav’s voice of reason in the last couple of days. Under his uncle’s pressure, Raghav decides to return to US prematurely]

He got out of the car to stand for one last time in front of his childhood memories, the building where Raghav used to live in Chembur. This trip turned out to be much more than what he expected. In all the commotion, he was happy to have found a friend in Tanya.

“You know what, you are probably the first person who hasn't said that Tanya is an unlikely name for a Tam-Brahm”

“And what is a Tam- Brahm?”

“Tamil Brahmin”, said Tanya rolling her eyes.

“Clearly I missed this acronym when I was reading about 10 things you must know before you land in India”. Tanya’s sarcasm was becoming contagious.

As they entered the main gate, a middle aged guard walked up to them, asking for their purpose of visit.

“We used to stay here on the 5th floor, long back. I have just come to take a final look at the flat”, Raghav explained. Guard let them in and took them to their flat.

It was a mid sized two bedroom flat. Definition of space has always been very different in Mumbai from other cities. After having lived in suburban New Jersey for years, these flats looked like small match boxes, but he distinctly remembered that back in the day, this flat was big enough for all his dreams. May be as we grow up, imagination needs the crutch of ambience to build anything significant. The flat was completely bare bones. No one had lived there since Raghav had left for US. Tanya noticed that even the verandah door latch, which looked half broken, had not changed in so many years.

“It is you Raghav, isn’t it?”, the watchman asked.  

“Yes”, Raghav was amazed that he remembered. He clearly didn’t.

“My name is Nathuram. I had come in as the replacement for your old guard that week when your mother passed away. And I almost got fired in the first week itself!”

Tanya was intrigued, “Why?”

“Madam. I was new here. The old guard suddenly went back to his village, and I was brought in to fill in for him. I must have made some mistake or maybe it was just my luck that on the same day two major incident happened in this building and that too on the same floor.”

“Two major incident?”

“One was the unfortunate incident with Raghav’s mother, and second the same day their neighbor's flat was broken into. Fortunately for me, the thieves didn’t get enough time to steal anything from them, or I would have surely lost my job.

Tanya, went out on the balcony and pointed to the adjoining flat, and asked, “this one?”

Nathuram nodded.

Tanya went back in the room, started inspecting the door. Raghav, who was all this while lost in his old memories, noticed that Tanya was onto something.

Tanya came closer to Raghav and spoke in a hushed voice, “this door, looks like it has been forced into. Neighbours were broken into but nothing was stolen. Police of course didn’t bother looking for anything else as it was an open and shut case for them. Do you remember Dr Madhukar’s theories. It does look odd when you think about it.”

Raghav didn’t offer much of a reply and started to leave. Tanya was a bit surprised, but she followed him out. Once they were back in the car, on route to the airport, she couldn’t hold back, “That was weird, wasn’t it? Why are you ignoring Dr. Madhukar’s theories? Isn’t this your duty, to find out the truth!”

Raghav was unusually quiet and kept looking outside the window, as if trying to make up his mind. “Yes. It is odd”, He finally said. “It is odd and so is everyone else and everyone else’s theory about what happened fifteen years back. For the last few days, my brain has been churning out scenarios after scenarios. What if Raj’s story is the truth? What if he was lying completely? May be he killed them or gotten them killed. Anyone could see his jealousy and gauge the madness underneath. Or may be nothing was related. May be Neha (Raj’s wife) was having an affair with someone else as your dad said. Dad was probably just trying to help her out when she found out that she was pregnant. May be he had called to tell my mother that. What it still doesn’t explain is why my mother committed suicide or if she did that at all. May be there is a grand conspiracy theory after all. May be both my parents were killed and Neha was just a collateral loss. But here is the clincher - there is no absolute proof of anything. All of this happened fifteen years back and all of these scenarios are built on circumstantial evidences at best and wild imagination at worst. There is no easy way of finding out the truth”

“Yes, but there is just one truth and not many. Don’t you want to find out?”

“Yes and no. Yes, because if someone killed my parent, then I would want nothing more than to avenge them. But, if it was the other way around, then I would be putting at stake whatever little bit of sanity that is left in my life. The choice is between sacrificing my future life in search of the truth, or sacrificing the truth for a normal life. Right now, I am undecided. I don’t think I am ready to take a step in either direction.”

Both of them sat in silence for the rest of the journey. Over the last few days, Tanya had been a source of strength to Raghav. She had in ways eased out the blow of over information and speculation. He knew what Tanya was thinking, it was plain to see. Selfish! Selfish of Raghav to go back and not dig deeper to find the truth. But Raghav was certain that his time here was done, and was hopeful that he still had some more time left with Tanya- more than the remaining few minutes of their journey.

Tanya was never very good at handling goodbyes. Bidding someone goodbye with so many mixed emotions, was a first even for her. May be time will help decay this wild oscillations in her mind. She went back in her car, once Raghav had entered the airport departure gates.

As the plane touched down in New York, Raghav’s phone began buzzing with everything that he had missed in last few days. One caught attention more than the other. It was from a friend who worked in NSA, with a harmless suggestion for a catch up next friday. Was this a sign!? He will have to wait to find out.

To be continued? May be… :)

Vine: Chapter 6: The old man

[Previously: Year 2001, Rohit Verma and Neha Gupta (Raj Gupta’s wife) meets a fatal accident on Pune - Mumbai highway. The same day Rohit’s wife Sohini Bose commits suicide in their mumbai residence. Raghav Bose Verma (son of Rohit and Sohini) is left to the care of Sohini’s brother Pradip Bose and his wife Piyana Bose. Present day: Raghav who was settled in US with his maternal uncle, decides to come to India for selling his parental home. Getting a sudden call from Raj Gupta claiming he knows the truth about his parent’s death, Raghav meets him in Pune. Raj Gupta and Rohit’s old friend Sriram Iyer, tells Raghav conflicting stories. Raghav is unable to make up his mind. Sriram’s daughter Tanya decides to accompany Raghav in quest to find answers]

As Raghav sat opposite to Dr Madhukar Bhonsle, sipping a cup of tea and hearing about how his mother was a brilliant scientist and one of the best he had ever tutored. Tanya sat next to him. Her generous dose of sarcastic humor and love for coffee helped him find a center in this turmoil of emotions. Having her alongside gave him some sense of relief and sanity. He had booked himself on a return flight for the day after. His uncle heard all about the Raj episode from Sriram and was adamant that he doesn't spend a day more in India.

“You know Raghav, you look a lot like her. She was my best student ever and the day she passed away was one of the saddest days of my life. I knew your father as well. Rohit was a nice man. It is so unfortunate when so many cruel things happen at the same time. It makes you wonder if it is just fate or is it someone pulling some strings from behind the curtains.”

Tanya was first to catch on to old man’s hint, and quickly asked him - “do you think someone was pulling strings? what do you mean, really?”

Dr Bhonsle looked at them one by one, and was carefully measuring every word he said next. In the last 10 years he had been ridiculed in his family and in his office for his outrageous conspiracy theories. While he had learnt his lesson about not sharing them as vocally or in public, he never wavered away from his belief or the lack of it. He was trying to assess which category these two kids will fall into.

“Do you know how many scientists in BARC have lost their lives in accidents or have committed suicide in last 15 years ?”

Both stared at him blankly, and shook their heads to express their ignorance on the subject.

“10 in total. 5 of which were in my department. Either my department is a particularly accident prone department or something is wrong here. Your mother was the first to go.”

“What were you working on?”, asked Raghav.

“Do you remember your basic undergraduate physics class? Uranium is used for generation of nuclear electricity, however it is available in limited quantity and not even found across the globe. Electricity or power has long been the backbone of scientific and economic progress. Whoever has access to the cheapest power, has the potential to become the biggest power in the globe and naturally during cold war, both US and Russia had been relentless in harnessing nuclear energy. However the competition has always remained in Russia’s favour as they have one of the richest Uranium reserves. India on the other hand have had access to one of the biggest Thorium reserve. Now while this is a seemingly useless sibling of the radioactive brotherhood, our research for over two decades have been around how to harness Thorium to generate electricity. We have been working closely with some of the research teams in US and our progress in this field was very encouraging to say the least. Your mother was in fact part of a joint research team of US and India to work on this very project. And then one fine day, just a month before your family was supposed to move to US, she commits suicide. Now I have known her for sometime. She could be many things, but she wasn't a weak person and she loved you a lot. There was nothing which could make her take her own life. She was not a person who backs out of a fight. She wasn't a coward.”

“So what are you saying?”, Raghav asked.

“I am saying that your mother was killed by KGB or ISI or some such forces.”

Raghav’s first reaction was that the old man had lost it. He was clearly in his late 60s and might be beginning to imagine things. But surprisingly Tanya seemed fairly interested.

“What about the remaining four from your team?”, she asked.

“Good question. Two died in a road accident, one was electrocuted while doing repair work at home, and one person fell down stairs and died. All of them were critical to the research that we were doing. As soon as we neared some breakthrough, one of the key personnel associated would die”

“Why haven't the police investigated this?”, Tanya asked

“For one, they all looked like accidents. Two, they were scientists and not some silly celebrities. Three, all of this has happened because of internal leaks. I am sure they would have found ways to pocket the police as well.”

It was like a page out of a fiction novel. Raghav found himself laughing at what the old man was saying. “Raj is confident that my father cheated on my mother and that is why she took her life. Tanya’s father is confident that my father was a good man. Now you are saying that my mother was killed by agents of secret service or worse by her own government. You know what, I officially don't know what to believe. Thank you for your time doctor, but I don't know what to believe anymore.” Raghav got up and left the apartment, before Madhukar could say anything. Tanya got up to follow him as well.

“Sorry Dr Madhukar. He has been through a lot in the last couple of days.”

“That's alright. I don't blame him. At least he heard me out. This was the first time that I spoke about this to anyone. Ask him to look for signs. There would be signs of some random incident which happened along with these accidents. Something which doesn't add up. Most people just ignore it. We are so ready to put our heads in the sand and pretend there is no sandstorm brewing over our heads. We are so willing to take an easy answer that we give up on truth for convenience. Hope he has better sense than that.”

To be continued…

Vine: Chapter 5: To believe or not to believe

[Previously: Year 2001, Rohit Verma and Neha Gupta (Raj Gupta’s wife) meet a fatal accident on Pune - Mumbai highway. The same day Rohit’s wife Sohini Bose commits suicide in their Mumbai residence. Raghav Bose Verma (son of Rohit and Sohini) is left to the care of Sohini’s brother Pradip Bose and his wife Piyana Bose. Present day: Raghav who was settled in US with his maternal uncle, decides to come to India to sell his parental home. Getting a sudden call from Raj Gupta claiming he knows the truth about his parent’s death, Raghav meets him in Pune. Disturbed from what he gets to know, Raghav is left in a state of disbelief. He is put up at his father’s friend and colleague, Sriram Iyer’s residence in Mumbai]

Sriram Iyer was Rohit’s colleague in Tata Motors and one of the few people who had been in touch with Raghav’s uncle over the years. When he heard Raghav was coming to India, he insisted that Raghav stays with him. So when Raghav called to tell him that he was in Pune for some work and will be reaching a day late, he was a little disturbed. He knew that Rohit had a complicated past, and wasn't sure if his son was ready to know about it.

As Raghav walked into his apartment, Sriram noticed Raghav’s resemblance with Rohit. While he had inherited his father’s built and bodily features, his face was his mother’s. Raghav seemed unusually quiet which he attributed to long travel hours over the last three days. He greeted him and asked his daughter to show him his room while advising him to get some rest.

“So feel free to use this cupboard for your stuff. There is also a bell which you can ring for room service or just call out loudly, and someone will take the order”, Tanya said with a hint of sarcasm. Usually her semi sarcastic charm works on guys her age. Raghav seemed a little too lost in his own world. She wasn’t used to guys not giving her 200% of their attention. He definitely piqued her interest.

“You know usually, guys are nicer, specially when they have such nice host” she quipped.

“I am sorry for being rude, but it hasn't been a very usual day for me, not in the last couple of days”

“Well is it the long travel, the pollution and the dirt in India? or just the poor Indians on the road?”. She was on a roll, Tanya thought to herself, feeling pleased with her sharp remarks.

Raghav considered his answer for a moment. The weight he was carrying was becoming heavier with every passing second. Sometimes opening up to a complete stranger is easier. Comforting.

“What if you were told that everything I had known about my father, as a person, was a lie. And that he wasn't the hero I thought he was. He had serious character flaws and that he was the reason my mother committed suicide? How do you handle something like that? I can't even confront him and ask for an explanation.”

“Well it is like the time, someone walked up to a friend of mine whose dad is a politician and asked - how did she feel knowing that her dad was a corrupt politician and swindles public money? She answered in a matter of fact way, that he had been an excellent father and have always been there when she needed him. He could be a corrupt politician professionally but as a father he was the best. You need to ask yourself what he was to you? Was he a good father?”

“It is not that simple. He destroyed two families and drove my mother to committing suicide. How can I forgive him for that?”

“But why will you not? Sorry to break this to you, but committing suicide is not the most honorable decisions in my opinion. It is like running away from a fight. Moreover it was your mother’s decision. In fact you should be angry at your mother for deserting you and not sticking around to give you a proper childhood.”

Raghav was conflicted. Tanya spoke sense, but he was sad and angry at some level, and somehow logic is never well suited for such occasions.

Tanya sensed his conflict, and quickly said - “You know a walk and strong cup of filter coffee is what doctor recommends for such occasions”

Raghav was too tired to object, also at some level he was liking Tanya’s company. It was certainly better than the soliloquy which was going on in his head. Next day Raghav spent his time finishing all the paperwork for the sale of his parents’ flat. He decided to go have a last look the day after. He also cancelled his trip to Goa and booked himself on an earlier flight back to New York. He needed to go back to his familiar world. This short trip hadn't panned out the way he thought he would.

In the evening on their way back, Sriram asked Raghav what he had heard about his father and from where. Raghav was initially taken aback by the bluntness of the question, but he realized that Sriram could actually give him some real insight to his father’s life and so he narrated the entire chain of events to him. Sriram was clearly agitated by the end of it.

“No man ever is born without flaws and it is all easy for us to judge someone from a distance. Rohit is not here to defend or refute what Raj has said, and we don't know what the truth was. Having said that I have known your father and your mother for a long time. Rohit was an honorable man. I don't know what exactly transpired there in Pune. I had also heard of many office rumors around this, but I have known Rohit and I know he couldn't have done what Raj claimed. In fact it was rumored that Raj and Neha had been having marital troubles much before Rohit even went to Pune, and that Neha had been having an extra-marital affair much before Rohit came back in her life. But then again, I don't know these for a fact, and all of this happened fifteen years ago. It has been tough on Raj, but how do you know that all of this is not a figment of his imagination. Fifteen years is a long time to obsess about something and enough to lose objectivity in your own mind. I find this whole incident of Raj reaching out suddenly to you and coming up with all of these documents and proofs too well timed. It don't seem right. As about your mother’s death, why don't you talk to someone who was close to your mother. May be they will have an insight to what really happened. Incidentally I knew her superior in BARC. He lives in Andheri. Why don't you go visit him? He was very fond of your mother and had known your parents for a long time.”

Raghav sat there quietly in the car. Yes Raj’s story seemed a little too complete and with all the proofs, but then Sriram is obviously biased towards his friend. He kept remembering what Tanya told him - was he a bad father, if not he had no reason to complaint. But is it so simple? How can you be so objective in life? Should he reach out to his mother’s old boss? What if that confirms what he already dreads? But then what does he stand to lose at this point?

He took a deep breath and stood undecided, but he was determined to find out.

To be continued….

Vine: Chapter 4: The Meeting

[Previously: Year 2001, Rohit Verma and Neha Gupta (Raj Gupta’s wife) meets a fatal accident on Pune - Mumbai highway. The same day Rohit’s wife Sohini Bose commits suicide in their mumbai residence. Raghav Bose Verma (son of Rohit and Sohini) is left to the care of Sohini’s brother Pradip Bose and his wife Piyana Bose. Present day: Raghav who was settled in US with his maternal uncle, decides to come to India for selling his parental home. Right before he is leaving, he gets a call from Raj Gupta, claiming he knows the truth about his parent’s death, and luring him to meet him in Pune. Raghav decides to go meet him]

Raghav didn't know what to expect as he walked out of the airport. Last 20 hours had been a non stop movie marathon to stop the other non stop marathon in his head. He thought he had grown over that day his parents died- that single day which turned his life upside down, but he realized he was wrong. He felt quite tired from the long flight, change in time zones, and everything in between. He saw a man standing with a sign carrying his name. Soon he was in an Innova heading out of the airport, as the sun set in. In the last 20 hours he had considered several possible scenarios, one of which was that all this was an elaborate attempt to kidnap him. The only thing which he had ever done in his life g as elaborate as a kidnap attempt would be his short stint in NSA during college. Apart from writing some serious amount of code, which he still doesn't know whether it is being used, he had made couple of good friends. Post passing out of college, while he had an option to join their research and analytics division, he ended up choosing the corporate life instead. While his mind kept playing up scenarios, his gut told him that it was something else all together.

The car stopped at the turn of a park. The driver turned around and said, “Hi Raghav, I am Raj. We spoke on the phone. Glad you decided to come. Follow me”

As Raghav gathered his senses, and was about to ask some questions, he saw Raj quickly get out and get inside an old 4 storey building. He eventually followed him into an apartment at the top floor and got into the flat of certain Mr and Mrs Gupta. As he entered, his recently acquainted companion turned around and said, “As you would have guessed, I am Raj Gupta and this is where I used to live with my wife. Now of course I live alone. My wife died 15 years back. I promised to tell you the truth about your parent’s death, so why don't you have a seat and we can get started.”

Raghav was keenly observing this old man. He was nearing 60 probably, but certainly looked much older than he was. His sharp features gave away once a good looking man but the deep lines told a story of weathering and pain. He didn't know what the old man was going to tell him, but he could sense the morose in his voice. He settled down in his chair on the other side of the room.

“Before we begin, Raghav, do you have any questions?”

“Just one: why such a role play about being a diver?”

“Well I wasn't sure what to expect, and what I wanted to do. I needed to keep my options open.”

Raghav considered it for a moment. He didn't fully understand, but decided to listen.

Seeing that Raghav had no follow up questions, Raj started:

“Raghav, where you are sitting now is my temple, and you can be rest assured that whatever I am saying is absolutely true. This is the first place I built as a young man madly in love with his wife, intending to spend his life with her, and while things didn't pan out as planned, this is my haven of peace and all that is sane in my life. I met Neha almost 20 years back at a friend’s party. We instantly connected like in those movies you watch and in books you read. It was not long before we decided to get married and move in here. We had some of our best years here (gesturing at the wall full of photographs). However even like the best of us Neha had a past and it was with your father Rohit Verma. They had a short courtship period in college, which didn't last long once they passed out. While Neha moved on in life, Rohit was persistent about keeping their friendship alive. The thing about people unhappy in their own lives is that seeing happiness is difficult for them. Your father kept on finding faults in our relationship and influencing Neha’s mind about our marriage.”

Raghav was becoming more and more agitated with the accusations. Sensing this Raj threw a bunch of letters at him and continued.

“You obviously don't believe me and I don't blame you for it. Read these letters at your leisure. You will see what I am talking about. You must remember how your father moved to Pune, don’t you? You were old enough. Do you think it was just because of work. Absolutely not. He lured away my wife. He meticulously ended our marriage.”

At that point, Raghav decided that he had heard enough and stood up to leave.

“Raghav, before you leave wouldn’t you want to know who killed your mother?”

“What nonsense! My mother committed suicide. She …” Raghav gritted through his teeth. He found himself to be at a loss of words.

“Give me five minutes and you shall see the whole truth with proof.”

Raghav slumped back in his chair, but now he was feeling seriously ill at ease.

“Your father moved here in the year 2000 for some work, and started seeing my wife on a regular basis. What I mistook for old friendship, grew much more. I started noticing how Neha would be unhappy with the smallest of things in our lives. Can you believe that my wife of 10 years, would one day just stop caring about me? I don’t know Raghav, if you have been in a relationship ever, but the feeling of losing your love is just unbearable. But do you know what was more unbearable - feeling of being betrayed. My wife cheated on me, and when they found out that she was pregnant, they both eloped from Pune. As irony would have it, your father died in that car accident on the highway, the very same day.”

He passed on the autopsy report. He also passed on a consultation report for his wife from a hospital in Pune, where Rohit’s name was filled in the husband’s name section. Raghav was devastated.

“Raghav, it was your dad who killed your mother. Yes, he didn't kill her literally but he drove her to it. These are the telephone records (handing over another piece of paper to Raghav) from my land line on that day. Notice the two Mumbai coded numbers- they are your mother’s office and your residence numbers. Rohit told her of his debauchery and in her grief your mother took her own life. I can't blame her, I was very close to taking my own life myself.”

Raj paused as he swallowed his grief. It was a lot for Raghav to absorb. Raghav looked at the papers in his hands then looked at Raj and the photos on the wall. He didn’t know what to believe. Once someone passes away, they cease to have any faults. They rise above human flaws and attain the status of a hero. For Raghav, his father was his hero. For him to find out anything otherwise challenged his entire life.

For the next ten minutes and what seemed like eons, Raj showed him several more proofs of how his father had destroyed two happy families. Raghav looked at Raj’s eyes and saw the years of pain and suffering pouring out in one big release. He almost seemed to be smiling to himself, like someone who has been relieved of a huge burden of secret for the first time in many years. A man who has got justice after 15 years. Raghav interrupted, mumbled an apology and left in a hurry. He called a cab and went directly to his hotel. Tomorrow he will go to Mumbai. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to probe this any further. He was afraid of what was left to be uncovered. But that was for another day, right now he needed to sleep. He gulped down his medication and forced himself to sleep, before he lost his mind.

To be continued….

Vine: Chapter 3: Never forget or forgive

[Previously: Year 2001, Rohit Verma and Neha Gupta (Raj Gupta’s wife) meets a fatal accident on Pune - Mumbai highway. The same day Rohit’s wife Sohini Bose commits suicide in their mumbai residence. Raghav Bose Verma (son of Rohit and Sohini) is left to the care of Sohini’s brother Pradip Bose and his wife Piyana Bose. Present day: Raghav who was settled in US with his maternal uncle, decides to come to India for selling his parental home. Right before he is about to leave, he gets a call from someone in Pune, claiming he knows how his parents died. Raghav decides to visit Pune.]

Raj Gupta was an outlier in his family. He hailed from Raebareli, a small town near Lucknow. His father owned a shop in the wholesale market, and one of the most respected traders in Raebareli. Growing up, his parents humoured his interest in science as just a passing phase – a side effect of education which they must endure, however ultimately he was expected to join the family business. When Raj said he wanted to do engineering from Roorkee Engineering College, not just his parents, but almost everyone in that small town was taken aback. Gupta ji’s son doing engineering was quite unexpected.

From Raebareli to Pune, all his life he had been driven to prove naysayer wrong- his parents, his relatives, his class mates and his colleagues. Finally when he met Neha, he thought it was the ultimate challenge thrown at him, and he intended to win that. He was introduced to Neha at a common friend’s party in 1987. She was a mechanical engineer, and was working for Tata Motors at that time. Raj had recently moved in to Pune as a manufacturing line lead for a Mahindra & Mahindra. Raj’s friends told him that she recently had a break up. Raj went for the opportunity with the single mindedness of an olympian. From flowers to stuffed toys, Raj tried every trick taught in commercial movies and cheap paperback books.Eventually Neha’s walls broke down. Raj’s decision to marry Neha was another first of its kind act in his family. Neha was a Punjabi, and Raj’s family were not extremely enthused about their union, but years of dealing with their son had taught them the futility of their objection. So in the year 1990, Mr and Mrs Gupta moved in their recently constructed 2 BHK flat in Koregaon Park.

Love is a strange thing. It’s an emotion which is often the driver and the resultant of actions in life. When he looked back Raj often wondered if he was indeed in love or was he in love with the idea of being in love. Grudgingly Raj concluded that he had mistaken the headiness of pursuit as something deeper, but then he questioned if love was indeed something as deep as the poet claim it to be, or was it a mere chemical reaction. Hating to admit that he might have made an error in judging his own self, he dedicated the next few years trying to be a good husband. But things got tougher with time. He always felt like the one pulling this relationship along and he started toying with the idea of calling it quits. His friends suggested that having a child can help make things better. But as fate would have it, Raj faced disappointment there as well. Eventually both Raj and Neha fell in this routine called marriage, which gradually shifted into becoming more of a decision borne out of convenience and better economic sense.

Raj’s parents sensed his predicament and took every opportunity to remind him of his mistake which was their ultimate come back for years of Raj’s insolence. Something Raj hated more than admitting he was wrong, was others saying he was wrong. It was towards the end of the decade of their marriage, when he decided that he would do everything in his power to prove his parents wrong. Even if it was just a sham, he would have the perfect life. He would not be proven wrong. Only deterrent to that was Rohit Verma.

Rohit and Neha were college sweethearts who landed the same job in the same city, but like most college romances, it didn’t survive the harsher realities of life outside campus. And right then mixing up professional and personal life didn’t seem like a great idea to Rohit. He eventually took a transfer and moved to Tata Motor’s corporate headquarters in Mumbai. While Neha always claimed it to be just a college thing, Raj had heard all about Neha’s very public break-down in her office. At some level he often wondered if Neha ever got over Rohit. Hence when in 2001, Neha told him in an excited tone that Rohit was coming to Pune for work, all his failures found a plausible cause. Jealousy is like the fire hidden under ashes- it consumes  undetected. And Raj soon got to the point where his ego and insecurities took over and he and Neha broke into their worst phase of marital bickering.

That evening, when he entered his empty flat, he was part happy. He knew he could blame his failures in life on Rohit and Neha and have a fresh start. That accident changed everything. Instantly everyone knew about Rohit and Neha. People who knew their history and Neha’s current predicament put two and two together. It would always start with the condolences, followed by those seemingly genuine questions, and finally those two questions – Who was Rohit? Why were they driving out of Pune? And friends who knew their history added – Was he the same Rohit?

Raj was a seething body of rage, when he entered the hospital. He wanted nothing to do with Neha anymore. He didn’t even look at Neha’s parents. He was there for identification and for finishing certain procedures, which the doctor had insisted he do in person. Doctor took him to his chamber and made him sit on a chair.

“I know Mr Gupta you must be going through hell right now. To be honest I don’t know what it is to be in your shoes right now. I just can’t imagine. However as a doctor it is my duty to inform you of all the details and that is what I have called you here for.”

Raj began listening for the first time. What details? What more now?

“Did your wife tell you anything recently?”

“About what? What would she have told me?”

“We did some basic blood test as part of autopsy, and we realized she was pregnant. Our guess is it was in early stage, probably her first trimester”

Raj was in shock. His first reaction was that of pain. He thought that after years of trying, God had finally given them what he wanted only to take it away prematurely. Soon after another thought occurred to him – Was it mine? More he thought about it more it seemed like the second option. Raj went into a shell. People thought he was a grieving husband, but he was broken inside. He was robbed off his ego, that one thing which was his most prized possession, that one thing which stopped him from drowning in the quicksand of jealousy and insecurities. This was an act which couldn’t go unpunished,but both Neha and Rohit were dead. When he inquired he found out that coincidentally Sohini (Rohit’s wife) committed suicide on the same day. She must have known as well, he thought, and their only son had left for US with his relatives.

But that was 15 years ago. Today he will be meeting Raghav Bose Verma face to face. Last few days he had been debating how to avenge his hurt pride. He just couldn’t make up his mind.

To be continued….